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Women In-Depth: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women

Listen in as therapists, coaches, writers, and other experts explore the inner lives of women: their struggles, fears, hopes, & dreams. This podcast is about cultivating a conversation around the uncomfortable, uncertain, and unknown aspects of a woman's experience. Through interviews and stories, Lourdes Viado, PhD, MFT goes beneath the surface and takes a deeper look at relationships, motherhood, self-acceptance, authenticity, aging, healing, suffering, loss, and other areas connected to the emotional and psychological well-being of women. We will be cultivating conversation around the entire experience of being a woman, with all its different aspects.
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Now displaying: April, 2019
Apr 17, 2019

“Safety primes neuroplasticity: a sense that as you move through this, you’re okay and you’re safe.” 

Introduction:  

When was the last time that you experienced letdown, hurt, or even a traumatic event?  

How did you rebuild yourself and your life after the event?  

A significant part of the human condition is experiencing negativity in our environment, then that energy infiltrates itself into the brain. Brains tend to have a negativity bias. This means that one negative response from another person has more power over our minds than all the positive interactions within that same relationship. Whenever this happens, life and relationships must be rebuilt, no matter how small or large the damage was.  

This is resilience. While resilience is largely an innate skill, it’s still possible to build it and strengthen it through various exercises and strategies.  

In this episode, Linda Graham talks about how to build and strengthen resilience. She shares some deep insight into the wiring and functioning of the brain when stimulated with negativity, and how to learn to bounce back. Linda also shares how therapists and non-therapists alike can implement various strategies, mindsets, and somatic tools to refine the skill of resilience as well.  

Take a listen to Linda’s thoughtful and practical strategies, tips, and tools to bouncing back into life.  

About Linda Graham: 

Linda Graham is a psychotherapist and award-winning author. She is passionate about guiding people on reliable paths of personal growth, self-transformation, and building relationships. Her professional specialty areas include helping reverse the impact of stress and trauma, cultivate mindful awareness, and ultimately recover a sense of resilience. Within her private practice, she integrates modern neuroscience, mindfulness practices, and relational psychology into her international trainings on resilience and wellbeing.  

Some Questions I Ask:  

  • How would you define resilience? (4:59) 
  • How does our brain’s capacity to respond to stressors become derailed? (6:53) 
  • Why is it difficult to develop resilience? (12:00) 
  • How can we address the brain’s negativity bias? (19:05) 
  • What are the 3 Levels of Disruption, and 5 Intelligences? (21:20) 
  • Where should someone start with finding relief and building resilience? (27:10) 
 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:  

  • Why individuals respond differently to the same stressors. (4:23) 
  • Where an individual’s resilience originates and how to install new circuitry that increases the capacity for resilience. (7:22) 
  • How resilience is strengthened through post-traumatic growth. (15:41) 
  • How somatic tools help calm the mind and enter back into a space of resilience. (17:10) 
  • How practicing positivity shifts the functioning of the brain into more receptivity and resilience. (19:14) 
  • What therapists can integrate into their practices from Linda’s book. (29:13) 
 

Resources:  

Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster by Linda Graham 

Bouncing Back by Linda Graham 

Linda’s Website 

Apr 3, 2019

How do you respond to the word trauma?

Sometimes, those who experienced trauma reject even the term itself. Instead of acknowledging it and starting the healing process, survivors often minimize their experiences. When this happens, sometimes both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms are normalized for them, as well.

Childhood trauma is specifically difficult to deal with and conquer the lasting effects of. It’s oftentimes buried deep within and oftentimes has a silencing effect on the person and they grow into adulthood. This world of silence inhibits their behavior, mindset, and various aspects of life.

This is where therapy is needed. Even if the trauma happened 20 or more years ago, it’s never too late to heal. You can always take steps toward healing that trauma no matter how long ago it was.

In this episode, I talk with Amy Van Slambrook. She shares some deep insight into the specific behaviors and tendencies that survivors demonstrate, how to identify them, and how a partner may be able to assist in the healing process. She also shares some beautiful, impactful words of wisdom for any survivors listening to this podcast today.

Take a listen to Amy’s moving story and take one step closer toward breaking the silence.

About Amy Van Slambrook

Amy Van Slambrook is a licensed psychotherapist, certified life and workplace coach, experienced consultant, and writer. She is passionate about the work she does and compassionately interacts with her clients.

Amy has overcome significant hurdles in her life—her own journey and healing from real life struggles, wounds, and trauma. She was able to spark the healing process in herself through the best training ground available. This experience is one that solidified her vocational calling: to help others—especially women and couples—experience freedom, heal and gain the power from their past.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How were you drawn to this work? (3:13)
  • Could you share a couple of examples of what trauma looks like? (21:07)
  • What can you see or hear that demonstrates how trauma is impacting relationships? (29:40)
  • How can the partner of a trauma survivor love and support their partner? (36:29)
  • What words of wisdom do you have to offer trauma survivors? (40:22)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • Why trauma survivors minimize experience and normalize their coping behaviors and experiences. (7:25)
  • How childhood trauma ripples to affect adult relationships and behaviors. (12:03)
  • How trauma reveals itself in the body rather than through language. (14:50)
  • Why trauma survivors are generally calm in crises situations. (18:18)
  • Why survivors get stuck in a cycle of trauma. (26:13)
  • How men often suffer in silence as a result of childhood abuse. (39:36)

 

Resources:

Daniel G. Amen

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Soul-Healing Love by Dr. Tom Rodgers and Dr. Beverly Rodgers

 

Connect with Amy:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

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