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Women In-Depth: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women

Listen in as therapists, coaches, writers, and other experts explore the inner lives of women: their struggles, fears, hopes, & dreams. This podcast is about cultivating a conversation around the uncomfortable, uncertain, and unknown aspects of a woman's experience. Through interviews and stories, Lourdes Viado, PhD, MFT goes beneath the surface and takes a deeper look at relationships, motherhood, self-acceptance, authenticity, aging, healing, suffering, loss, and other areas connected to the emotional and psychological well-being of women. We will be cultivating conversation around the entire experience of being a woman, with all its different aspects.
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Now displaying: May, 2019
May 31, 2019

“It is across racial lines, socioeconomic status, religious beliefs, and the like. This is not a phenomenon that just occurs to a certain person that looks and dresses and behaves a certain way.”

 

Introduction:

 

When everything builds up inside, managing emotions can oftentimes feel impossible.

 

As children grow, oftentimes there’s no one to teach them how to manage their emotions. For those with the trait of high sensitivity and/or those who experienced trauma, sometimes the way that they learn to cope, manage, or maintain their overwhelming emotions is through self-harm.

 

Self-harm is a subject that is riddled with misconceptions and negative judgments.  In this episode, I talk with Vena Wilson about why people self-harm, and together we dispel some of those myths.

 

Vena deepens our understanding as to why women engage in this type of coping mechanism. She also shares her insights into what causes the emotional state that pushes individuals into self-harming tendencies, and what to do when someone you love struggles with this topic.

 

Take a listen to learn how to identify self-harm, support a loved one, or spark the healing process for yourself. 

 

About Vena Wilson:

 

Vena Wilson is a licensed clinical social worker who provides psychotherapy services to children, teenagers, and adults. She is the owner and operator of Honey Bee Behavioral Health. She works to assist individuals and families in creating healthy, adaptive, and well-functioning relationships. With this, Vena also helps clients see their concerns through a different lens: she provides information on how trauma effects the functioning of various parts of the brain. She teaches strategies that allow them to take suicide and self-harm off the table as an option to release overwhelming emotions.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How did you come to work with women who self-harm? (3:48)
  • What happens that causes this emotional state? (17:40)
  • What other myths or misconceptions are there around self-harm? (25:10)
  • What are ways to support a loved one who self-harms? (28:52)
  • What words of wisdom would you share with someone who self-harms? (33:04)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • What self-harm looks like. (7:06)
  • How emotional deregulation affects the brain and presents itself in day-to-day life. (12:26)
  • About the trait of high-sensitivity and how it manifests itself. (21:08)
  • What to do and not to do when a loved one discloses that they self-harm. (29:11)
  • How to choose a therapist that will fit your specific needs. (34:21)

 

Podcasts that Discuss Dialectal Behavior Therapy Strategies, Managing Overwhelming Emotions, and Other Helpful Tidbits:

Charlie Swenson: To Hell and Back

Vena M. Wilson: The Honey Be Podcast

 

Practical/Helpful Reads on Validation, Mindfulness, Managing Overwhelming Emotions:

I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. Sorensen

Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life by Sheri Van Dijk

Freedom from Selfharm: Overcoming Self-Injury with Skills from DBT and Other Treatments by Kim Gratz

 

Books for Clinicians:

DBT® Skills Training Manual, Second Edition by Marsha M. Linehan

Doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A Practical Guide (Guides to Individualized Evidence-Based Treatment) by Kelly Koerner

Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Advances in Psychotherapy: Evidence-Based Practice) (Advances in Psychotherapy - Evidence-Based Practice) by E. David Klonsky

Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician’s Guide by Lisa Ferentz

Treating Self-Injury: A Practical Guide by Barent W. Walsh

 

For Parents and Caregivers:

Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges by Pat Harvey

The Power of Validation: Arming Your Child Against Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addiction, Self-Harm, and Out-of-Control Emotions by Karyn D. Hall

When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder by Daniel S. Lobel

 

Other Resources:

Vena Wilson’s LinkedIn

Honey Bee Behavioral Health

 

To Donate:

https://lourdesviado.com/donate/

May 16, 2019

“Mythology and storytelling are age-old methods of passing along wisdom, sharing experience, and explaining or teaching about life.”

Learning to trust your intuition, feelings, and dreams is a powerful experience.                               

With all the stories and lessons told to children today, our society does not seem to support the notion that women should learn to trust their intuition. This is a meaningful lesson for any woman, whether she’s a Maiden, Mother, or Crone. This is a lesson that is truly universal.

In this episode, I talk with Janet Lucy about her new children’s book Mermaid Dreams. This book encompasses many missing lessons from today’s children’s literature, while also depicting the connection between mother and daughter. Janet also tells the powerful story of goddesses and how goddess mythology illuminated her ideas within the book.

Take a listen to learn Janet’s new book Mermaid Dreams and how this story passes along universal wisdom to women.

About Janet Lucy:

Janet Lucy is an award-winning writer and poet, most notably the book Moon Mother, Moon Daughter: Myths and Rituals that Celebrate a Girl’s Coming of Age. She earned her master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Antioch University. She’s also the founder and director of Women’s Creative Network, which is a consulting business utilizing intuitive, creative, and professional development through writing. She is passionate about the connection between mothers and daughters and how mythologies and stories coincide with the universal truths that women experience.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What inspired you to write Mermaid Dreams? (3:14)
  • What is the significance of the Mermaid to you? (7:17)
  • How does the story in Mermaid Dreams depicts the connection between mother and daughter? (12:46)
  • What coming-of-age concepts does Mermaid Dreams address? (14:15)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • About the story of the African goddess Yemaya. (9:12)
  • How the power to change your dreams coincides with the power you have over your psyche. (15:03)
  • How Janet’s book teaches children to go within themselves and learn to trust their inner voice. (18:00)
  • How Janet’s books apply to all women. (20:54)
  • How women’s internalized beliefs can manifest into the basis of fear. (25:15)

Resources:

Episode 91: The Heroine’s Journey: The Call to Transformation

Episode 95: Mothers, Daughters, Myth & Moon: Rituals to Honor a Girls’ Coming-of-Age

Janet Lucy’s Website

Janet’s Books

Women’s Weekly Writing Groups

Women’s Creative Network

May 2, 2019

“We all have blind spots. We all have pitfalls and life terms. Part of the therapy process is about gaining insight and awareness of what those traps and what those lenses are and seeing that this is a recurrent theme that happens for you in your life.” (24:49)

 

Introduction:

Some people look like they truly have it all. Great job, great family, and the drive to keep moving toward success.

Oftentimes, in those who look like they have it all together, they are actually coping with a personality trait called rejection sensitivity. On the surface, rejection sensitivity looks like intrinsic motivation and perfectionism. The deeper you go, rejection sensitivity looks like isolation, anxiety, and intensity. 

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jared DeFife about rejection sensitivity. Together, we talk about where this personality trait originates, what it looks like, and how people can work with rejection sensitivity rather than allowing it to have control over every action and relationships. Jared also shares insight into the role that rejection sensitivity plays in his own life, and why blending insight and awareness of this trait is essential to learning to thrive professionally and interpersonally.

Take a listen to learn about how to turn rejection sensitivity into a superpower-like trait and improve the lens through which you see the world along the way.

About Dr. Jared DeFife:

Dr. Jared DeFife is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He’s also an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Science at the Emory University School of Medicine. Jared is passionate about helping “intense” people integrate interpersonal and personality-focused therapies drawing from schema-focused and mentalization-based therapies into their lives.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What is rejection sensitivity? (3:34)
  • How does rejection sensitivity show up in a personality? (7:35)
  • How can someone determine if they have rejection sensitivity? (19:47)
  • How can someone work with rejection sensitivity rather than let it take over their lives? (23:06)
  • How can people learn more about this trait? (35:37)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • How people develop rejection sensitivity. (5:16)
  • Why high rejection sensitivity often gets mislabeled as narcissism. (13:43)
  • How rejection sensitivity differs from high sensitivity. (22:30)
  • How schema therapy approaches taking action on high rejection sensitivity. (28:44)
  • How rejection sensitivity exposes various modes within the personality. (31:00)

Resources:

Rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire

Don’t Take it Personally! by Elayne Savage

Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young

Brené Brown

Jared’s Website

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