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Women In-Depth: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women

Listen in as therapists, coaches, writers, and other experts explore the inner lives of women: their struggles, fears, hopes, & dreams. This podcast is about cultivating a conversation around the uncomfortable, uncertain, and unknown aspects of a woman's experience. Through interviews and stories, Lourdes Viado, PhD, MFT goes beneath the surface and takes a deeper look at relationships, motherhood, self-acceptance, authenticity, aging, healing, suffering, loss, and other areas connected to the emotional and psychological well-being of women. We will be cultivating conversation around the entire experience of being a woman, with all its different aspects.
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Now displaying: 2019
Dec 23, 2019

“There’s some distance between the spark and the flame, and in that distance, it gives you the freedom to respond more skillfully to the situation.” 

Depression is part of a common human experience but finding relief from it is incredibly complicated.  

Depression is a relapsing illness, and taking an antidepressant is not always a viable or effective solution for those suffering.  

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Stuart Eisendrath about how to treat depression when the antidepressants just aren’t enough. He walks through the definition of depression and anxiety, how they distort time and how we experience the present moment, and then finally how to align ourselves back to the present moment. Specifically, Dr. Stuart Eisendrath talks about mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, which teaches people a different way to respond to their depressive state, and how to take action in the moment.  

Take a listen to learn more about mindfulness practices and cognitive therapy, and how these techniques can shift one’s relationship with depression to finally experience healing.   

About Stuart Eisendrath:  

Dr. Stuart Eisendrath is the founding Director of the University of California San Francisco Depression Center. He has treated a full range of depressive disorders, from mild to the most severe over the last 40 years using multiple modalities. His lectures on Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for the University of California TV has been viewed over 1.5 million times, and he’s rapidly developing MBCT as a modality for individuals currently in episodes of depression. 

 

Some Questions I Ask:  

  • What drew you to writing this book? (2:14) 
  • What is mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy? (5:57) 
  • How does anger play into depression? (19:52) 
  • How can someone stop the process of rumination? (25:16) 
  • How does mindfulness-based cognitive therapy affect the brain itself? (37:38) 
  • What some first steps people can take to bring mindfulness into their life? (39:26) 
 

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:  

  • What alternatives Dr. Stuart Eisendrath uses to treat depression and anxiety. (3:45) 
  • How to change your relationship to cumbersome depressive thoughts. (9:38) 
  • The key to shifting out of a depressive state. (14:31) 
  • How to use the RAIN technique to decenter from the anger that coincides with depression. (21:16) 
  • How Dr. Stuart Eisendrath’s personal experience with depression has informed in his work. (30:43) 
  • How to prevent relapses of depression without continued use of medication. (34:34) 
 

 

Resources:  

UCSF Depression Center 

Website 

When Antidepressants Aren’t Enough by Dr. Stuart Eisendrath 

Facebook 

Donate to Women In-Depth 

Dec 19, 2019

People feel like food allergies aren’t serious. I think that’s the biggest myth because they are.

Food allergies don’t always show up in ways that we expect them to.

A food allergy is a medical condition in which exposure to certain foods triggers a harmful immune response—and it’s serious.

Allergic reactions pose unique challenges to parents—especially parents of young children who cannot communicate everything they experience as an allergic reaction comes on. This is undoubtedly a scary concept to a child, but sometimes it can be even more anxiety-inducing for the adults responsible for their care.

In this episode, I talk with Joann Carter, LCSW. She has both personal and professional experience around managing her children’s various food allergies along with the inevitable anxiety that comes with it.

Throughout our conversation, Joann shares about her early experiences of learning to navigate the world after her two sons were diagnosed with severe food allergies. She also shares her insights into what to look for to identify allergic reactions, as well as debunking certain myths around allergies in general.

Take a listen to learn more about managing your child’s food allergies and how to stay cool, calm, and collected all the while.

 

About Joann Carter:

Joann Carter is a licensed clinical social worker, serving in the Las Vegas and Henderson communities for over 15 years. Her background in social work has allowed her to view individuals in the whole system of their lives and assist individuals in dealing with mental health struggles, as well as attaining emotional wellness.

Joann is currently the only therapist in Nevada on the Food Allergy Counselor Directory. She is also a member of the Food Allergy Behavioral Health Association.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What was managing a food allergy for your son like for you? (5:16)
  • How prevalent are food allergies in children? (7:19)
  • What indicates a food allergy in children? (8:51)
  • What are some myths or misperceptions around allergies? (11:51)
  • How can a person discern when anxiety around food allergies becomes problematic? (15:54)
  • What words of support or wisdom would you like to share with anxious parents around managing a child’s food allergy? (21:36)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • Why food allergies cause so much anxiety. (3:11)
  • How to help manage anxiety around food allergies. (5:57)
  • How food allergies affect various areas of children’s lives. (10:55)
  • The difference between a milk intolerance and allergy. (13:40)
  • How Joann personally manages her son’s food allergies. (19:03)

 

Resources:

Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE)

No Nuts Moms

Food Allergy Treatment Talk

Joann Carter’s Website

Dec 4, 2019

There are really lifelong implications for children who grow up with an emotionally isolating or absent dad. 

Some wounds take longer to heal than others.

The wounds of paternal abandonment are ones that take a particularly long time to heal. It requires time, a mental and emotional journey, and a definitive decision to let go of the idea that the father will change his ways.

In this episode, Rachael Chatham talks with us about the experience of the negligent father and general paternal abandonment, and how this particularly impacts daughters. This experience of the negligent father is very common; Rachael sees it in her practice, but it’s part of her personal narrative as well.

Rachael shares with us her journey that led to a transformative experience that allowed her to start taking care of herself—she let go of the fantasy she had written in her head about her father coming back around.

Take a listen to learn more about how to heal the wound left from a negligent father, and how you can help a loved one who’s healing as well.

 

About Rachael Chatham:

Rachael Chatham is a Licensed Professional Counselor, psychotherapist, and published author. Her private practice is located in Asheville, North Carolina, where she specializes in navigating relationship challenges and healing complex trauma. Her education is rooted in somatic and transpersonal psychologies, and she approaches her work from a perspective that all beings are whole. 

Rachael will be launching her first online course in January 2020: Reclaiming the Self: Returning to the Truth and Beauty of Who You Really Are.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What drew you to focus in on this area? (2:42)
  • How does the impact of parental abandonment reveal itself in children? (8:31)
  • Why is the absence of a father so impactful? (10:29)
  • What advice do you have for someone who wants to explore this healing process? (26:40)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • How motherhood affected Rachael’s relationship with her negligent father. (6:14)
  • How parental abandonment still happens, even with fathers living in the home. (10:12)
  • How the effects of parental abandonment influence the child’s sense of identity. (15:16)
  • What the grief process looks like when a child lets go of the fantasy that their father could be different. (23:13)
  • About Rachael’s transformative experience that allowed her to start taking care of herself. (27:06)

 

Resources:

Whole Self Therapy

The Skillful Self

Healing the Father Wound

The Fatherless Daughter Project by Denna Babul

Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Dr. Karyl McBride

Nov 15, 2019

Kids respond to their environment and learn how to survive.

Being a baby is more complex than people think.

Once born, a baby enters an entirely new world full of sights and sounds and feelings that they’ve never experienced before. Babies absorb it all—and it affects their mental health. Babies don’t “just forget” when something happens. Even without visual memories, their bodies hold onto those memories, they develop survival mechanisms as a result, and they bring those traumas or sense of security into adulthood, too.

In this episode, I talk with Selma Bacevac about her work as a national consultant and promoter of baby mental health. Selma breaks down what babies remember from in utero and throughout infancy, and how those memories are stored within their bodies. Selma also shares insights into the power of a parent’s intention to do their best, and how to start making changes to ensure that your baby’s mental health is well taken care of.

Take a listen to learn more about how to consistently communicate a sense of safety and security to your infant.

 

About Selma Bacevac: 

Selma Bacevac is a licensed psychotherapist, mompreneur, national consultant and promoter of baby mental health. She is an expert on how attachment-related problems and developmental trauma affects infants and toddlers. She provides webinars, workshops, and online training to parents and professionals who want more information on this specific topic.

Selma is the host of Raising Baby, a podcast devoted to helping parents and professionals understand the world from the baby’s perspective.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How did you find yourself working in the niche of infant mental health? (4:50)
  • What is infant mental health? (6:49)
  • How does a baby perceive that they are not safe and secure? (7:36)
  • What does a secure attachment look like? (14:17)
  • How does developmental trauma impact mental health and physical health? (42:04)
  • How can parents start to shift things for the better? (49:20)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • How focusing on baby mental health affects experiences in adulthood. (3:23)
  • How babies retain memories from in utero. (8:13)
  • What the signs are of a baby experiencing the world from a place of survival over learning. (12:05)
  • Why it’s vital to empower those about to become parents. (22:16)
  • How your brain changes the minute you decide you want to become a parent. (31:41)
  • The difference between self-control and self-regulation. (38:41)

 

Resources:

Selma Bacevac’s LinkedIn

Infant & Toddler Mental Health 101 Webinar

Parent-Child Relationship Institute

Raising Baby Podcast with Selma Bacevac

Sep 13, 2019

Grief is an expression of love for someone who isn’t here anymore.

Experiencing the loss of a loved one is one of the most challenging parts of being human.

When that loss is unexpected or happens in an “unnatural” order, the grief takes a different kind of toll on the person. All grief is complicated, but the loss of a child or loss as a result of a tragedy makes grief just that much more complicated.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Sonya Lott about her work as one of the only clinicians in Philadelphia trained in evidence-based treatment for complicated loss. We discuss how grief affected her and eventually transformed her life; what makes someone vulnerable to this type of grief; and what this treatment involves.

Take a listen to learn more about how to help others experiencing complicated grief and reconstruct your own identity after experiencing it yourself.

About

Dr. Sonya Lott is a Clinical Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She is one of only two mental health clinicians in Philadelphia trained in Complicated Grief Therapy. Helping individuals to transform their experiences of pre-death, acute, and complicated grief. Dr. Lott obtained advanced training from The Center for Complicated Grief at Columbia University, in Complicated Grief Therapy. She has recently launched CEM Psych LLC, which offers continuing education and multicultural competence for mental health professionals, approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. She is also the host of The Reflections on Multicultural Competence podcast.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What drew you to working in the area of therapy around complicated grief? (2:29)
  • When you say, “complicated grief,” what do you mean? (9:08)
  • Are there types of loss that make an individual more vulnerable to complicated grief? (13:20)
  • What are some words of support that you have for those who have lost someone? (34:11)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • How grief manifests itself long-term. (5:33)
  • Why people get “stuck” in the grief process. (9:42)
  • Common types of deaths that put people at risk for complicated grief. (13:55)
  • How complicated grief impacts various areas of life and relationships. (18:50)
  • What complicated grief therapy realistically looks like. (24:44)
  • How to learn more about complicated grief. (37:02)

 

Resources:

Center for Complicated Grief

Grief Steps for Parents

Dr. Sonya Lott’s Website

Continuing Education in Multicultural Psychology

Aug 30, 2019

It’s important to revisit those strategies and elaborate, and that becomes a part of your identity.

When you sit down with your family around the dinner table, the storytelling begins.

Have you ever noticed who is doing the storytelling?

Typically, women and mothers in families are the ones who tend to elaborate and go in-depth with their storytelling, while men oftentimes may be more reserved with their explanations. The ways that families reminisce and dialogue about their lives have a significant impact on how children develop their adult identities.

Humans are storytelling creatures, but when men are not supported in developing their storytelling muscles, it can lead to lost pieces of their identities.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jared DeFife about his work as a clinical psychologist. When we begin, we discuss his interest in supporting men who deal with rejection sensitivity, depression, and more. Specifically, we discuss how these experiences take on different characteristics in men than women, and how storytelling may impact men’s ability to connect with himself and heal. 

Take a listen to learn more about how to put yourself back in the author’s seat and regain your narrative identity.

About Dr. Jared DeFife:

Dr. Jared DeFife is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He’s also an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Science at the Emory University School of Medicine. Jared is passionate about helping “intense” people integrate interpersonal and personality-focused therapies drawing from schema-focused and mentalization-based therapies into their lives.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What’s the template for the type of clients you attract? (11:32)
  • Do you think it’s hard for men to respond to depression screeners? (15:06)
  • When does the narrative disappear for men? (20:05)
  • How does one begin to re-author their life? (31:23)
  • What resources would you recommend for learning more about this? (52:47)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • About Jared’s work with men who experience rejection sensitivity and depression. (2:53)
  • How Jared transformed his approach as a therapist to connect with and reach men. (10:45)
  • How depression manifests itself differently in men and women. (11:52)
  • How language use and narratives impact how men perceive their struggles. (16:09)
  • What different types of emotionally unavailable men look like. (32:19)
  • What tools Jared uses to help men become the authors of their own stories again. (36:02)

 

Resources:

Jared Defife’s Website

I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Terrence Real

The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes

Deepening Psychotherapy with Men by Fredric Rabinowitz

Deepening Group Psychotherapy with Men by Fredric Rabinowitz

Under Saturn’s Shadow:  The Healing and Wounding of Men by James Hollis

Jul 4, 2019

“Character is fate.” - Heraclitus

 

United we stand. Divided we fall.

 

The United States is becoming an increasingly divided country with each day that goes by. The idea of what American culture and values are changes, depending on where you are on the party line.

 

In this episode, Michael Gellert discusses the newly-revised edition of his compelling book, The Fate of America, which explores the national character of the United States against the backdrop of its history, popular culture, and media.

 

Listen in as Michael explores the development of the American heroic ideal; how it reflects the nation’s aspiration towards greatness and its sense of identity; as well as its connection to the country’s deepening divisions; increase in societal challenges; and erosion of vital institutions. 

 

Take a listen to learn about citizen- and enemy-oriented heroism; where you’re located among these ideals; and what is being called upon us now.

 

About Michael Gellert:

 

Michael Gellert is a Jungian analyst, practicing in Los Angeles and Pasadena, CA. He was formerly the Director of Training at the C.G. Jung Institute of Los Angeles, where he is currently a research instructor. He’s also a humanities professor at Vanier College, Montreal, and a lecturer at Hunter College of the City University of New York. Michael has a Master’s degree in religious studies and social work and studied with Marshall McLuhan at the University of Toronto. He’s a mental health consultant for the University of Southern California and TIME Magazine.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What is America’s national character? What does that reveal about challenges we face? (4:13)
  • Can you share about the Principles of Youth and Authority? (19:44)
  • How has America’s heroic ideal gone awry? (33:37)
  • What does the death-rebirth cycle mean for moving forward in America? (46:46)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • What the different types of heroism in America are. (6:30)
  • What happens when society loses sight of citizen-oriented heroism. (15:28)
  • Why the divide of the Spirits of Youth and Authority brings out the worst in both sides. (23:03)
  • How division dehumanizes the “Other.” (28:46)
  • America’s addiction to innocence (37:58)
  • The individual’s responsibility in relation to participating in society. (49:06)

 

 

Resources:

The Divine Mind by Michael Gellert

Modern Mysticism by Michael Gellert

America’s Identity Crisis by Michael Gellert

Michael Gellert’s Website

Jun 14, 2019

In celebration of Father’s Day, Women In- Depth is looking back at some of our previous episodes focusing on men and masculinity.

Episode 86: Reflections on Fatherhood in the 21st Century with Sean Fitzpatrick, PhD, LPC

Sean Fitzpatrick, PhD, LPC, the Executive Director of the Jung Center in Houston, spoke with me about what it means to be a father and how the presence, or lack thereof, of a father influences one’s life.

Episode 40:  The Secrets Men Carry with James Hollis, PhD

James Hollis, PhD, a licensed Jungian analyst in private practice in Washington, D.C., joined us to discuss why it’s important to share the secrets of men; the pressure men face from being evaluated by their ability to produce; and how men long for a positive connection with their fathers.

Episode 77: Manhood, Masculinity, & Meaning with Boysen Hodgson

Boysen Hodgson is the Communications and Marketing Director for the ManKind Project USA, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization that offers powerful opportunities for men’s personal growth at any stage of life. He talked with me about the meaning of masculinity, why it matters, and why the biggest journey a man can take is the 18 inches from his brain to his heart.

May 31, 2019

“It is across racial lines, socioeconomic status, religious beliefs, and the like. This is not a phenomenon that just occurs to a certain person that looks and dresses and behaves a certain way.”

 

Introduction:

 

When everything builds up inside, managing emotions can oftentimes feel impossible.

 

As children grow, oftentimes there’s no one to teach them how to manage their emotions. For those with the trait of high sensitivity and/or those who experienced trauma, sometimes the way that they learn to cope, manage, or maintain their overwhelming emotions is through self-harm.

 

Self-harm is a subject that is riddled with misconceptions and negative judgments.  In this episode, I talk with Vena Wilson about why people self-harm, and together we dispel some of those myths.

 

Vena deepens our understanding as to why women engage in this type of coping mechanism. She also shares her insights into what causes the emotional state that pushes individuals into self-harming tendencies, and what to do when someone you love struggles with this topic.

 

Take a listen to learn how to identify self-harm, support a loved one, or spark the healing process for yourself. 

 

About Vena Wilson:

 

Vena Wilson is a licensed clinical social worker who provides psychotherapy services to children, teenagers, and adults. She is the owner and operator of Honey Bee Behavioral Health. She works to assist individuals and families in creating healthy, adaptive, and well-functioning relationships. With this, Vena also helps clients see their concerns through a different lens: she provides information on how trauma effects the functioning of various parts of the brain. She teaches strategies that allow them to take suicide and self-harm off the table as an option to release overwhelming emotions.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How did you come to work with women who self-harm? (3:48)
  • What happens that causes this emotional state? (17:40)
  • What other myths or misconceptions are there around self-harm? (25:10)
  • What are ways to support a loved one who self-harms? (28:52)
  • What words of wisdom would you share with someone who self-harms? (33:04)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • What self-harm looks like. (7:06)
  • How emotional deregulation affects the brain and presents itself in day-to-day life. (12:26)
  • About the trait of high-sensitivity and how it manifests itself. (21:08)
  • What to do and not to do when a loved one discloses that they self-harm. (29:11)
  • How to choose a therapist that will fit your specific needs. (34:21)

 

Podcasts that Discuss Dialectal Behavior Therapy Strategies, Managing Overwhelming Emotions, and Other Helpful Tidbits:

Charlie Swenson: To Hell and Back

Vena M. Wilson: The Honey Be Podcast

 

Practical/Helpful Reads on Validation, Mindfulness, Managing Overwhelming Emotions:

I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. Sorensen

Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life by Sheri Van Dijk

Freedom from Selfharm: Overcoming Self-Injury with Skills from DBT and Other Treatments by Kim Gratz

 

Books for Clinicians:

DBT® Skills Training Manual, Second Edition by Marsha M. Linehan

Doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A Practical Guide (Guides to Individualized Evidence-Based Treatment) by Kelly Koerner

Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Advances in Psychotherapy: Evidence-Based Practice) (Advances in Psychotherapy - Evidence-Based Practice) by E. David Klonsky

Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician’s Guide by Lisa Ferentz

Treating Self-Injury: A Practical Guide by Barent W. Walsh

 

For Parents and Caregivers:

Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges by Pat Harvey

The Power of Validation: Arming Your Child Against Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addiction, Self-Harm, and Out-of-Control Emotions by Karyn D. Hall

When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder by Daniel S. Lobel

 

Other Resources:

Vena Wilson’s LinkedIn

Honey Bee Behavioral Health

 

To Donate:

https://lourdesviado.com/donate/

May 16, 2019

“Mythology and storytelling are age-old methods of passing along wisdom, sharing experience, and explaining or teaching about life.”

Learning to trust your intuition, feelings, and dreams is a powerful experience.                               

With all the stories and lessons told to children today, our society does not seem to support the notion that women should learn to trust their intuition. This is a meaningful lesson for any woman, whether she’s a Maiden, Mother, or Crone. This is a lesson that is truly universal.

In this episode, I talk with Janet Lucy about her new children’s book Mermaid Dreams. This book encompasses many missing lessons from today’s children’s literature, while also depicting the connection between mother and daughter. Janet also tells the powerful story of goddesses and how goddess mythology illuminated her ideas within the book.

Take a listen to learn Janet’s new book Mermaid Dreams and how this story passes along universal wisdom to women.

About Janet Lucy:

Janet Lucy is an award-winning writer and poet, most notably the book Moon Mother, Moon Daughter: Myths and Rituals that Celebrate a Girl’s Coming of Age. She earned her master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Antioch University. She’s also the founder and director of Women’s Creative Network, which is a consulting business utilizing intuitive, creative, and professional development through writing. She is passionate about the connection between mothers and daughters and how mythologies and stories coincide with the universal truths that women experience.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What inspired you to write Mermaid Dreams? (3:14)
  • What is the significance of the Mermaid to you? (7:17)
  • How does the story in Mermaid Dreams depicts the connection between mother and daughter? (12:46)
  • What coming-of-age concepts does Mermaid Dreams address? (14:15)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • About the story of the African goddess Yemaya. (9:12)
  • How the power to change your dreams coincides with the power you have over your psyche. (15:03)
  • How Janet’s book teaches children to go within themselves and learn to trust their inner voice. (18:00)
  • How Janet’s books apply to all women. (20:54)
  • How women’s internalized beliefs can manifest into the basis of fear. (25:15)

Resources:

Episode 91: The Heroine’s Journey: The Call to Transformation

Episode 95: Mothers, Daughters, Myth & Moon: Rituals to Honor a Girls’ Coming-of-Age

Janet Lucy’s Website

Janet’s Books

Women’s Weekly Writing Groups

Women’s Creative Network

May 2, 2019

“We all have blind spots. We all have pitfalls and life terms. Part of the therapy process is about gaining insight and awareness of what those traps and what those lenses are and seeing that this is a recurrent theme that happens for you in your life.” (24:49)

 

Introduction:

Some people look like they truly have it all. Great job, great family, and the drive to keep moving toward success.

Oftentimes, in those who look like they have it all together, they are actually coping with a personality trait called rejection sensitivity. On the surface, rejection sensitivity looks like intrinsic motivation and perfectionism. The deeper you go, rejection sensitivity looks like isolation, anxiety, and intensity. 

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jared DeFife about rejection sensitivity. Together, we talk about where this personality trait originates, what it looks like, and how people can work with rejection sensitivity rather than allowing it to have control over every action and relationships. Jared also shares insight into the role that rejection sensitivity plays in his own life, and why blending insight and awareness of this trait is essential to learning to thrive professionally and interpersonally.

Take a listen to learn about how to turn rejection sensitivity into a superpower-like trait and improve the lens through which you see the world along the way.

About Dr. Jared DeFife:

Dr. Jared DeFife is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He’s also an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Science at the Emory University School of Medicine. Jared is passionate about helping “intense” people integrate interpersonal and personality-focused therapies drawing from schema-focused and mentalization-based therapies into their lives.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What is rejection sensitivity? (3:34)
  • How does rejection sensitivity show up in a personality? (7:35)
  • How can someone determine if they have rejection sensitivity? (19:47)
  • How can someone work with rejection sensitivity rather than let it take over their lives? (23:06)
  • How can people learn more about this trait? (35:37)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • How people develop rejection sensitivity. (5:16)
  • Why high rejection sensitivity often gets mislabeled as narcissism. (13:43)
  • How rejection sensitivity differs from high sensitivity. (22:30)
  • How schema therapy approaches taking action on high rejection sensitivity. (28:44)
  • How rejection sensitivity exposes various modes within the personality. (31:00)

Resources:

Rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire

Don’t Take it Personally! by Elayne Savage

Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young

Brené Brown

Jared’s Website

Apr 17, 2019

“Safety primes neuroplasticity: a sense that as you move through this, you’re okay and you’re safe.” 

Introduction:  

When was the last time that you experienced letdown, hurt, or even a traumatic event?  

How did you rebuild yourself and your life after the event?  

A significant part of the human condition is experiencing negativity in our environment, then that energy infiltrates itself into the brain. Brains tend to have a negativity bias. This means that one negative response from another person has more power over our minds than all the positive interactions within that same relationship. Whenever this happens, life and relationships must be rebuilt, no matter how small or large the damage was.  

This is resilience. While resilience is largely an innate skill, it’s still possible to build it and strengthen it through various exercises and strategies.  

In this episode, Linda Graham talks about how to build and strengthen resilience. She shares some deep insight into the wiring and functioning of the brain when stimulated with negativity, and how to learn to bounce back. Linda also shares how therapists and non-therapists alike can implement various strategies, mindsets, and somatic tools to refine the skill of resilience as well.  

Take a listen to Linda’s thoughtful and practical strategies, tips, and tools to bouncing back into life.  

About Linda Graham: 

Linda Graham is a psychotherapist and award-winning author. She is passionate about guiding people on reliable paths of personal growth, self-transformation, and building relationships. Her professional specialty areas include helping reverse the impact of stress and trauma, cultivate mindful awareness, and ultimately recover a sense of resilience. Within her private practice, she integrates modern neuroscience, mindfulness practices, and relational psychology into her international trainings on resilience and wellbeing.  

Some Questions I Ask:  

  • How would you define resilience? (4:59) 
  • How does our brain’s capacity to respond to stressors become derailed? (6:53) 
  • Why is it difficult to develop resilience? (12:00) 
  • How can we address the brain’s negativity bias? (19:05) 
  • What are the 3 Levels of Disruption, and 5 Intelligences? (21:20) 
  • Where should someone start with finding relief and building resilience? (27:10) 
 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:  

  • Why individuals respond differently to the same stressors. (4:23) 
  • Where an individual’s resilience originates and how to install new circuitry that increases the capacity for resilience. (7:22) 
  • How resilience is strengthened through post-traumatic growth. (15:41) 
  • How somatic tools help calm the mind and enter back into a space of resilience. (17:10) 
  • How practicing positivity shifts the functioning of the brain into more receptivity and resilience. (19:14) 
  • What therapists can integrate into their practices from Linda’s book. (29:13) 
 

Resources:  

Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster by Linda Graham 

Bouncing Back by Linda Graham 

Linda’s Website 

Apr 3, 2019

How do you respond to the word trauma?

Sometimes, those who experienced trauma reject even the term itself. Instead of acknowledging it and starting the healing process, survivors often minimize their experiences. When this happens, sometimes both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms are normalized for them, as well.

Childhood trauma is specifically difficult to deal with and conquer the lasting effects of. It’s oftentimes buried deep within and oftentimes has a silencing effect on the person and they grow into adulthood. This world of silence inhibits their behavior, mindset, and various aspects of life.

This is where therapy is needed. Even if the trauma happened 20 or more years ago, it’s never too late to heal. You can always take steps toward healing that trauma no matter how long ago it was.

In this episode, I talk with Amy Van Slambrook. She shares some deep insight into the specific behaviors and tendencies that survivors demonstrate, how to identify them, and how a partner may be able to assist in the healing process. She also shares some beautiful, impactful words of wisdom for any survivors listening to this podcast today.

Take a listen to Amy’s moving story and take one step closer toward breaking the silence.

About Amy Van Slambrook

Amy Van Slambrook is a licensed psychotherapist, certified life and workplace coach, experienced consultant, and writer. She is passionate about the work she does and compassionately interacts with her clients.

Amy has overcome significant hurdles in her life—her own journey and healing from real life struggles, wounds, and trauma. She was able to spark the healing process in herself through the best training ground available. This experience is one that solidified her vocational calling: to help others—especially women and couples—experience freedom, heal and gain the power from their past.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How were you drawn to this work? (3:13)
  • Could you share a couple of examples of what trauma looks like? (21:07)
  • What can you see or hear that demonstrates how trauma is impacting relationships? (29:40)
  • How can the partner of a trauma survivor love and support their partner? (36:29)
  • What words of wisdom do you have to offer trauma survivors? (40:22)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • Why trauma survivors minimize experience and normalize their coping behaviors and experiences. (7:25)
  • How childhood trauma ripples to affect adult relationships and behaviors. (12:03)
  • How trauma reveals itself in the body rather than through language. (14:50)
  • Why trauma survivors are generally calm in crises situations. (18:18)
  • Why survivors get stuck in a cycle of trauma. (26:13)
  • How men often suffer in silence as a result of childhood abuse. (39:36)

 

Resources:

Daniel G. Amen

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Soul-Healing Love by Dr. Tom Rodgers and Dr. Beverly Rodgers

 

Connect with Amy:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Mar 20, 2019

“As human beings, we are meant for connection.“

I see you.

I believe you.

Sometimes, those are the exact words that survivors of sexual assault and violence need to hear. Genuinely affirming a survivor’s experiences, feelings, and responses are the first steps to entering into a space that the survivor has never let anyone else into before.

Oftentimes, those who experience trauma seem to have lost touch. Sometimes they appear checked out, forget to eat, and even lose their spatial awareness. On the other end of the spectrum, some survivors become hypervigilant and notice everything: the way someone holds himself when he walks into a room, small changes in expression or energy, and anything else.

In this episode, Robert Cox talks about this subject. He provides insight into the various responses that survivors have to their environment and new relationships. Robert discusses the importance of sitting in that vulnerable space with a survivor, listening to them, and helping them rewire their brains back to a healthy state.

Take a listen to learn more about how Robert Cox uses somatic exercises and active listening skills to help trauma survivors begin living once again.

About Robert Cox, LPC:

Robert Cox is a licensed professional counselor in Missouri and owner of Life Recovery Counseling. He specializes in trauma, addictions, and autism. He works extensively with survivors of sexual abuse, trafficking, and childhood trauma. One of his main focuses, too, is mindfulness training to help patients create their own pathways to emotionally regulate through the difficult processes of trauma recovery.

Resources:
Life Recovery Consulting Website
Mindful Recovery Podcast
The Life Recovery Method: Autism Treatment From A Trauma Perspective by Robert Cox

Mar 12, 2019

“The feminine is about the connection among all things.”

Where are you in life? Where are you headed?

Traditionally, there have been four faces of femininity: Maiden, Mother, and Crone. These archetypes define the feminine mindset: wants, needs, and what is required for fulfillment.

Our culture places a certain value on each of these stages. Oftentimes, this value is based on desirability rather than one’s personal desires. Traditionally, femininity is overwhelmingly undervalued. Now, that’s beginning to change.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Anita Johnston. She breaks down all three of these archetypes and adds in a fourth: the Queen. Anita explains each stage, what it means, and even includes some of her own personal experiences within each stage. Together, we discuss the social value placed on each individual stage, and how those values are swiftly transforming today.

Take a listen to learn more about the true value in your past, present, and future self in relation to your sacred femininity.

 

About Dr. Anita Johnston:

Anita Johnston is a clinical psychologist and a certified eating disorder specialist and supervisor. She has done some incredible work in the field of women’s issues and eating disorders for the last 35 years. In Guam, where she was raised, she experienced life in a matriarchal culture. She experienced the power and value of femininity, which shaped her worldview and desire to help others. 

Currently, Dr. Anita Johnston is the clinical director of Ai Pono Hawaii Eating Disorder programs. She is also co-creator of The Light of the Moon Café, which is a series of online, interactive courses, women support circles, and soul hunger workshops. Additionally, she is also the author of the bestselling book Eating in the Light of the Moon.

 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What drew you to focus on and create the four faces of the sacred feminine? (3:53)
  • What do you mean by the sacred feminine, divine feminine, and psyche? (5:09)
  • What exactly are the four faces? (10:52)
  • How do the roles of the Maiden and the Mother interplay? (19:34)
  • What do healthy and unhealthy displays of the Mother archetype look like? (23:58)

 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • About Anita’s childhood within a matriarchal culture. (4:04)
  • How the feminine archetypal energy crosses culture and time. (5:26)
  • Why awareness can lead to valuing feminine archetypes. (10:22)
  • How archetypes are demonstrated through fairy tales and in reality. (11:01)
  • About the Maiden, Mother, Queen, and Crone archetypes. (13:46)
  • How the flipping priority of desires to desirability impacts self-esteem. (15:45)
  • About the struggle of balancing your own needs with another’s needs. (19:52)
  • Why the Queen seeks to fulfill the soul. (29:56)
  • How the Crone functions as a bridge between the material and spiritual worlds. (34:53)

 

Resources:

Episode 59: Cracking the Hunger Code Through Storytelling and Metaphor

Dr. Anita Johnston’s Website

Eating in the Light of the Moon by Dr. Anita Johnston

Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk

New Crescent Moon Course with Dr. Anita Johnston

Tour of Light of the Moon Café

 

Feb 27, 2019

In this episode of Women In-Depth Dr. Viado speaks with Gary Alexander about the experience of therapy through the lens of depth psychology. Gary shares how he was drawn to depth psychology; how it informs his life and the work he does with clients. He also explains how symptoms are not necessarily the problems we think they are, but messengers from psyche (soul).

Gary Alexander has been practicing psychotherapy for over 15 years. He has a BA in Psychology and MS in Counseling from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas; and completed his doctoral course work at Pacifica Graduate Institute. Originally from Las Vegas, Gary now practices full time in Portland, Oregon. He also teaches graduate counseling students and supervises post-graduate counseling interns. Gary works with a wide array of issues for individuals and couples, infidelity, chemical and behavior addictions, co-dependency and the health and development of the sexual minority community.

To keep up with Gary:

https://www.portlandtherapycenter.com/therapists/gary-alexander

https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-alexander-2b591526/

https://www.facebook.com/GaryDAlexander

Feb 20, 2019

“The way I can get love is by being what other people need me to be. Being the good girl. Being the one that is quiet, the one that is well behaved …”


Welcome to this week’s episode of Women In Depth! Today we speak with Dr. Ashlee Greer, who is gracing us with a second visit after appearing on episode 76. In this episode Dr. Greer enlightens us to the idea of control and co-dependency; something she believes about 80% of our culture, particularly women, suffer from.
Dr. Greer teaches highly-sensitive, empathetic women to live a “hell yes!” life. Her clients learn that the hero they’ve been waiting for is them. We can change. And beyond these ideas, she teaches her clients about boundaries, sacrifice, expectations, and soon in her new book she discusses “affectionate non-attachment.”
Ashlee Greer has her Ph.D. in psychology, is powerfully psychic, and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

To keep up with Dr. Ashlee Greer:

https://www.ashleegreer.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-4UPDzBse1kbQrw-YuLF9Q
https://www.facebook.com/ashlee.greer.1111

Feb 13, 2019

“Romantic relationships above all other forms of relationships seems to be where the deepest and most intense struggle presents itself.”


For our Valentine’s Day episode, we have our 100th episode guest back again: Dr. Stacey Shelby!


In this week’s episode, Dr. Stacey Shelby describes the psychology of romantic love from a depth psychological perspective. Using the Greek myth of Eros and Psyche as a lens for understanding the meaning and purpose of romantic love, she describes how Psyche’s experiences parallel our own responses to romantic love; and deepen our understanding of how the inevitable challenges of romantic love summon us into intimate relationship with our inner selves.

Dr. Stacey Shelby is an author, speaker, educator and depth psychotherapist. She holds a Master’s and Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with a specialization in Jungian and Archetypal Studies. She teaches the psychology of romantic love at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California.

Dr. Shelby works with adults in various stages of personal transformation online and in person out of a thriving clinical practice in Squamish, British Columbia. She specializes in the symbolic language of the soul and aims to honor the soul as it presents itself in the lived experience of daily life.

To Keep up with Dr. Stacey Shelby:

http://drstaceyshelby.com/
https://www.facebook.com/DrStaceyShelby
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-stacey-shelby-ph-d-rcc-8b249560/
https://twitter.com/stacey0shelby

Feb 6, 2019

“I think a lot of times part of the reason we’re able to self-sabotage so easily is we really don’t own our goals. We don’t really own that picture of what we want our life to look like. We kind of keep it vague. As a result, we can’t really create that process to make changes because we don’t give ourselves any sort of timeline or specific picture of what we’re working towards.”

This week’s episode of Women In-Depth we speak with Nicole Liloia, Business Coach and Strategist enlightening us on the career, business and life burnout so many women deal with on a constant basis. We have unknowingly become experts at sabotaging ourselves; whether in our careers, or personal lives. We will discuss several ways we sabotage, how to notice it and what to do in response to create a richer and more fulfilled life.

Nicole Liloia earned her Master’s in Social Work at Columbia University before beginning a career in the non-profit sector. Nicole is both a life coach and a trained therapist. Now her passions are helping women entrepreneurs make more money and achieve their goals.

Nicole began this path after a volunteer trip to Venezuela after suffering from burnout in her 9-5. Upon coming home Nicole began working at various part-time jobs and ended up starting her own practice only to fall back into the rigid 9-5 lifestyle she was trying to escape. She realized her own self-sabotage with this repetition and decided that she wanted to help other women entrepreneurs stop wasting time and start making more money.

When Nicole is not busy helping her clients end their self-sabotaging ways she enjoys entrepreneurship, making women wealthier, Apothic Wines, and a good Taco Tuesday!

To keep up with Nicole Liloia:

https://nicoleliloia.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoleliloia/
https://twitter.com/nicoleliloia

References Mentioned:

Assess Align Action: The Boss Guide to Goal Getting by Nicole Liloia

Jan 30, 2019

“We all are so different and it’s normal to be different.  It’s just a matter of finding the ways that help you optimize your sexual desire and have a sexual relationship that you want to have.”

Many women experience diminished or decreased sex drive at one point or another in their lives.  However sex-negativity from our backgrounds, media, and society, can make these challenges difficult to discuss.

With over half the population experiencing some version of sexual dissatisfaction, we can acknowledge that frank discussions surrounding sex and intimacy have the potential to drastically improve our overall well-being.

Dr. Nazanin Moali has a Bachelor’s degree from the University of California, San Diego in biology and psychology, a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.

She specializes in working with couples and individuals struggling with issues of sex and intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast called Sexology in which she introduces listeners to the most intriguing findings in the psychology of sex.  She practices out of Torrance, California.

To find more information about Dr. Moali, you may  visit:

https://oasis2care.com/

https://twitter.com/oasis2care

https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care/

http://www.sexologypodcast.com/

drmoali@oasis2care.com

Other Resources:

https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory

Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire - Dr. Lori Brotto

In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Dr. Moali discuss:

  • Why one might seek a sex therapist
  • Mindfulness and its influence on our sex lives
  • Brakes and Accelerators: the dual control model of sexuality
  • Self-image in sex

 

Jan 23, 2019

We become women of all seasons.”

Our culture often associates negativity with aging. We dread what may come with age, despite mounting evidence that our worse fears are less likely than we think. Dr. Susan Stewart began examining this contradiction after encountering some rather heartening messages in myths, folktales, psychology, and gerontology that just encourage us to embrace and even look forward to the winter of our lives. Join Dr. Viado this week as she and Dr. Stewart discuss negative cultural messaging; the different dimensions of aging; and our lives in review.

Dr. Susan Stewart has been a Professor of Psychology for over thirty years (now emerita) at Sonoma State University, and is a retired therapist and a grandmother to four. She earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology at the age 26 and was a Marriage and Family Therapist for many years.

Her exploration of aging began in 2000 as she immersed herself into the myths and folktales after a series of encounters with the word crone. In place of the wicked and ugly portrayals she expected to find, she discovered some very inspiring old women. 

She was compelled to share her discoveries after finding that gerontologists, psychologists, neuroscientists, and others were describing similar discoveries in late life development. She began to spread the word about the under-appreciated gifts of age in her classes, papers, presentations, and workshops. On the eve of turning 70, she completed Winter’s Graces: The Surprising Gifts of Later Life in which she weaves together folktales, themes from the world’s wisdom and spiritual traditions, current findings in gerontology and other fields, stories of her own and those of other older women, and characters of film - all of which reflect late-life qualities like contentment, agelessness, simplicity, and fierceness.

When she’s not enjoying the company of her four grandchildren, singing, dancing or playing her cello, Susan continues to make presentations and offer workshops on the gifts of late life. She is most passionate about sharing the gifts of late life in a culture that mistakenly equates old age with debilitating decline. She has found that stories, along with recent research; visual images of elders; and the opportunity for participants to reflect on and share their own attitudes and experiences of aging, are a potent mixture.

To find more information about Dr. Stewart:

https://wintersgraces.com/

https://wintersgraces.com/blog/

https://www.facebook.com/susanaverystewart/

 

 

In This Episode, Dr. Viado and Dr. Susan Stewart Discuss:

  • The True Story of the Crone
  • The Winter of Life
  • The Role of Elders in American Culture
  • Changes in the Perception of Chronological Age
Jan 16, 2019

“To move toward that more wild feminine nature within the culture, and within our own psyches, and within the world...that wild feminine, it is so paradoxical and so confusing and it doesn’t want to be pursuing clarity and definition, it represents the opposite of that. It’s not an easy movement toward anything that represents that more lunar or feminine consciousness because it does mean a movement toward the uncertain and the unknown. It takes courage, a lot of courage.”

 

For the 100th episode of Women In Depth, we’ve returned to our roots in a discussion with Dr. Stacey Shelby about the wild woman archetype and her bewildering and beautiful manifestation in our lives.

 

Dr. Stacey Shelby is an author, speaker, educator and depth psychotherapist. She holds a Masters and Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with a specialization in Jungian and Archetypal Studies. She teaches the psychology of romantic love at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California. Dr. Shelby works with adults in various stages of personal transformation online and in person out of a thriving clinical practice in Squamish, British Columbia. She specializes in the symbolic language of the soul and aims to honor the soul as it presents itself in the lived experience of daily life.

 

To Keep up with Dr. Shelby:

http://drstaceyshelby.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DrStaceyShelby

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-stacey-shelby-ph-d-rcc-8b249560/

https://twitter.com/stacey0shelby

 

In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Dr. Shelby discuss:

  • The manifestation of the Wild Woman archetype
  • Recovering what feels lost
  • Navigating confusing changes in relationships and sexuality
  • Marrying opposite archetypes within our psyche in pursuit of balance
Jan 9, 2019

"Of course we want pain to end, absolutely, but paradoxically, the fastest way to get through this is to get through it, is to be in it, to be with it...What we want to do is imagine that pain has a positive purpose, that there’s a reason that pain has shown up. It’s trying to show us something and in a sense, really, it’s a signal and it’s a messenger whether it’s emotional or physical, but it’s part of us trying to ask for help, it’s part of us - in this sense, it’s the feeling of us trying to heal something. It’s that part of us that says 'I need help, I’m out of whack here, I’m out of balance, you need to pay attention to me.'"

11.2% of American adults experience some form of pain, often at severe levels every day and have for the previous three months. A 2006 survey from the American Pain Foundation found that the vast majority of pain sufferers feel they have no control over their pain, that it severely impacts their quality of life, while 77% of the participants surveyed reported feeling depressed. Chronic pain can cause both mental health struggles, trouble in interpersonal relationships and feelings of powerlessness or and loss of identity.

When Sarah Anne Shockley was diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, her entire life changed. Due to acute, chronic pain, she found herself fighting and enduring every day for years. What began as a battle became a journey of understanding and redefining pain for in the hopes of healing and ultimately living a fuller life. Sarah is the author of The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom For Living With and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain. She has been a columnist for Pain News Network and is a regular contributor to The Mighty. Sarah is a multiple award-winning producer and director of educational films, including Dancing From The Inside Out. She has also worked in high-tech management, as a corporate trainer, and teaching undergraduate and graduate business administration. She currently resides in the San Francisco Bay Area.

In This Podcast, Dr. Viado and Sarah Shockley Discuss:

  • Sarah’s experience with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome
  • Experiencing pain in a pain avoidant society
  • Changing our mindset to sit beside pain
  • Viewing pain like a wounded animal
  • How to support a loved one in pain

Links

https://www.thepaincompanion.com/

https://www.facebook.com/thepaincompanion

https://twitter.com/thpaincompanion

https://linkedin.com/in/sarahshockley

Book

http://a.co/0FrMWKp

 

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